If you have been following the “Healthy Boundaries: Your Ticket to Happiness” series for the past seven weeks, then you will see how setting healthier boundaries helps with stress management, and allows you to be more peaceful. In Part 6 of the Setting Healthier Boundaries series, you will learn more boundaries you can begin to work on setting this week. As always, take one baby step at a time as you master this list. There is no need to rush. Please read Healthy Boundaries: Your Ticket to Happiness, the first blog post in the series, to see the full list of some of your fundamental rights as an adult, before reading this one. If you feel drained, overwhelmed, resentful, or unappreciated, these may be signs you need to set healthier boundaries.
You have the right to be fully in your power.
When you are fully in your power, then no one will be able to take advantage of you or tell you how to live your life. The best way to develop being fully in your power is to follow your intuition. When you follow your intuition, you will be guided toward what is right for you. Then you will be fully in your power and your people-pleasing days will be over. By taking this action, it will help you feel great about yourself and your life. Begin today to set the boundary of not allowing others to tell you what you intuitively know is not right for yourself.
You have the right to take your time to think about what you want.
People who are controlling tend to insist others make a fast decision. When someone tells you that you need to make a decision right away and you intuitively know this is not true, set a boundary. You may want to say, “I know you want me to make a decision right away; however, I need some time to think about this.” Give yourself permission to think about what you truly want.
You have the right to give up being a people-pleaser.
Being a people-pleaser all the time is exhausting. One of the best things you can do is to set the boundary of firing yourself from this role! Once you fire yourself from this role, then you can please others at certain times, when you know you will walk away feeling good, without getting mentally drained or resentful.
You have the right to ask for what you want and need.
Asking for what you want and need is healthy. You may have been taught as a child that you are not allowed to ask for what you want or need because this is begging. Nonsense! When you ask for what you want and need, people will have the opportunity to feel good about contributing to your life. If someone you know says to you, “You have no right to ask for that,” then set a boundary such as, “I have the right to ask for exactly what I want and need.” Don’t allow anyone to stop you for asking for what you want and need. You are not meant to do everything on your own.
You have the right to have relationships that add to your life.
Most of us have had the experience of having relationships that are toxic and draining. In order to have wonderful relationships, you may need to let go of some old toxic ones. Most people are afraid to let go because then they will feel lonely. If this is the case, then join a supportive group where you are likely to develop new friendships. Set a boundary within yourself that you are no longer going to have relationships that continue to drain you.
You have the right to fully enjoy your life in a way that is pleasing to you.
Are you fully enjoying your life in a way that is authentically pleasing to you? If not, begin today to support yourself with living this life. If people make negative comments about some new things you are doing, set a boundary. You can say, “If everyone made themselves happy, then this world would be a much better place.” Don’t allow anyone to stop you from following your heart’s desires. Life is too short for you not to fully enjoy your life!
You have the right to be happy.
Some people will not be able to support your happiness no matter what you say or do. Even many well-intentioned people may not support your happiness. Set a solid boundary within yourself that you are only going to share your happiness with people who are capable of celebrating your happiness with you! You deserve to be fully happy! Just know, I want you to have all the happiness you can possibly have, so I am one person who is sincerely happy for all the good you have in your life!
You have the right to take excellent care of yourself–body, mind, and spirit.
Taking care of your body, mind, and spirit is a must in life! People often make the excuse of not having enough time to do this. Set a boundary with yourself that you are going to make this one of your priorities every day.
You have the right to spend quality time with yourself.
Spending quality time with yourself is very important. The more you nurture yourself, the more you will be able to nurture others. Are you spending at least three hours of quality time with yourself each week? If not, you need to make this a priority and set the boundary of letting others know you will not be available for those three hours.
You have the right to have fun!
Do you have fun at least one day a week? If not, make room for this. You may need to set a boundary with yourself that you are going to make one fun plan every week and not allow anything to interfere with this time.
You have the right to be flexible.
Many people are taught as young children that they are not allowed to be flexible and they just need to do what they are told. Unfortunately, these children grow up to be rigid adults and never consider the possibility of being flexible with themselves and others. Their inability to be flexible creates much stress, anxiety, and turmoil in their lives. Set a new boundary with yourself that you are going to work on being flexible with yourself and others.
You have the right to stand up for yourself.
If someone is disrespectful toward you in any way, you will need to set a boundary. For example, if someone says something derogatory to you, then say in a neutral, firm voice, “I would appreciate it if you stop speaking to me that way.” If they continue, you can say, “You need to stop speaking to me that way or I am ending this conversation.” If they continue, then end the conversation.
If people do not like your new boundaries since they can no longer emotionally dump on you, so what! You do not need their approval. Keep setting those boundaries! All your hard work will pay off! Being happy and peaceful in the long run is worth the temporary uneasiness that you may experience by setting healthier boundaries.
Read the final post in the series, “Healthy Boundaries: Your Ticket to Happiness, Part 7.”