Setting healthy personal boundaries in your relationships will bolster your self-esteem and help you express your true self. In this post, we’ll look at five more boundaries you can set as reviewed in the first post of this series, Healthy Boundaries–Your Ticket to Happiness. In Part 5, I demonstrate how living an authentic life will make you a happier person. Please read the first blog post in the series before reading this one, to see the full list of some of your fundamental rights as an adult.
Trying to be perfect is a great way to squash your joy and happiness. I know how debilitating it is to be this way. I tried to be perfect for many years. Changing this pattern is very challenging. Begin by giving yourself permission to no longer expect perfection. Then set a boundary within yourself that you are going to stop abusing yourself this way. Tell yourself that you are good enough and you don’t need to be perfect.
You have the right to make mistakes.
You are human; therefore, you are going to make mistakes. We all make mistakes. Are you hard on yourself whenever you make a mistake? The important thing is to learn from your mistakes and to forgive yourself. Set a boundary that you are no longer going to be hard on yourself, and that you will simply learn from your mistakes. If you don’t create this boundary within yourself, then you are likely to beat yourself up with your negative thoughts.
You have the right to be angry at someone you love.
Some people think it is terrible if they feel anger toward someone they love. The terrible thing is not to feel your anger, since this will turn into resentment. I have seen how resentment can stop a relationship from being close and wonderful. If you are angry at a loved one, use your intuition to help discover the best way to release this feeling. There may be times when you want to calmly tell the person you love you are angry with them. There may be other times when you don’t say anything, but you simply release that anger in healthy ways: writing, doing art work, exercising, popping bubble wrap, listening to music, doing a visualization, etc. Give yourself permission to release your anger in healthy ways. The boundary you can set within yourself is to process your anger, rather than stuff it inside. Releasing your feelings in healthy ways is one of the best things you can possibly do.
You have the right to express who you are.
Are you able to express who you are in every area of your life? Or do you shy away from expressing who you are since people may judge you? I admire individuals who truly express who they are! Being authentic is wonderful! If you are not expressing who you are, then make a commitment today to work on this. When you fully express who you are, then you give others permission to express who they are. No one enjoys being around someone who is phony. This makes everyone uncomfortable. Set the boundary within yourself that you are going to take one step each day to work toward expressing who you are! We are waiting for you to shine! You cannot shine until you are fully being and expressing who you are!
You have the right to express how you feel.
I often hear people say that if you express how you feel, then you are being weak. Actually, the opposite is true. It takes great strength to express how you feel. People cannot read your mind. The only way for someone to truly know how you feel is if you tell them. If there is someone you intuitively know it would be helpful to tell your feelings to, then set the boundary within yourself to support yourself this way. Expressing how you feel to the right person can be so freeing and healing. If you know someone who will not be supportive if you say how you feel, then simply write the person a letter. Then rip up the letter and throw it away. Getting your feelings out on paper or by doing a visualization telling that person how you feel is very freeing and powerful!
See the next post in the series, “Healthy Boundaries–Your Ticket to Happiness, Part 6.”